Monday mourning

it was nevertheless shocking. i could not even look at her for the fear of tears would start welling in my eyes. she was so forlorn. the figure that i thought was so strong, the image of a successful woman, epitome of a cool mother, and a mother to a really adorable child at that. i used to long to be like her. so stylish, so outspoken, always in charge and know what is she doing, add that with countless admirable eyes that follows her, and eventhough in her 30s, she looks much more younger than most of the 20-year-old that i know. and yet there she was. looking so forlorn and not knowing what to do. her white blouse added the sympathetic effect and her child like tears-strewn face makes me feel like hugging her and telling her that everything will be all right.
how could he? after all these years, after what they have been through? how could he done what he has done? questions kept popping in my head but to ask them will surely bring a sharp look from my parents but i just keep staring at my birthday cake which was in front of me. oh, how trivial my endless fighting with my baby seems to be. how trivial my longing for a memorable birthday celebration with nice surprises. how trivial my worry for not enough money compare to that. everything seems so trivial and less important when it is compared to that.

and then all tears that have been swallowed break loose when i saw her child's face again.
i will never wish this on anybody. fate is so cruel to us mortal sometimes.